Transitioning from Parent to Coach: Supporting Executive Functioning in Your High School Student
As high school students head into the second semester, you might notice that your teen is seeking more independence—both in their classes and in everyday life. This can be both exciting and challenging, especially as academic demands grow. One of the best ways to help your student thrive during this critical time is to shift from the role of a traditional parent to that of a “coach,” particularly when it comes to developing executive functioning skills.
What Are Executive Functioning Skills?
Executive functioning is a collection of mental skills that help us set goals, organize, plan ahead, manage time, self-monitor, and regulate our emotions. For high schoolers, these skills are essential for balancing academics, activities, and growing responsibilities on their journey toward adulthood.
Why Shift Into a Coaching Role?
While the urge to remind, rescue, or micromanage is natural, guiding your teen as a coach can help them take ownership of their own growth. Coaching empowers students to develop true independence, resilience, self-advocacy, and self-motivation—traits that are crucial not just in high school, but all through life.
Practical Ways to Coach Executive Functioning at Home
- Ask Open-Ended Questions.
Instead of, “Did you do your homework?” try, “What’s your plan for managing your homework this week?” Open questions prompt your teen to think through their approach. - Encourage Reflection.
Prompt your student to consider what’s working and what isn’t. Ask, “What strategies helped you last semester? What could you do differently now?” - Guide, Don’t Rescue.
If your teen misses a deadline or gets off track, let them problem-solve instead of immediately stepping in. - Model Organization.
Share systems you use to stay organized, like calendars, to-do lists, or phone reminders. Encourage your teen to experiment and find what works best for them. - Praise Effort and Growth.
Focus on progress over perfection. Comments such as, “I noticed you started studying earlier for this test,” reinforce positive strategies more than just praising grades. - Promote Self-Advocacy.
Support your teen in communicating directly with teachers or counselors when needed, but encourage them to take the lead. - Support Healthy Habits.
Help them recognize the importance of routines for sleep, nutrition, exercise, and downtime, but let them make their own choices as much as possible. - The Big Picture
By moving into a coaching role, you help your student build the skills they’ll need not just for a successful semester, but for college, career, and life. While your support remains essential, this new role sends the message: “I believe in your ability to figure things out and grow.”
Interested in more resources for building executive functioning or want to talk about specific strategies? Reach out to The Center for Lifelong Larning, we’re here to support you and your student at every step! Click on the button below to learn more about Student Success coaching and to book your first session!
Share your experiences! Have you made the shift from parent to coach for your teen? What’s worked best in your family? Let’s connect in the comments below.